"DROWNED MALE" || ATARDECIDA

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DROWNED MALE
(04/06/2022)


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There is a black hole in my heart, something missing,
The unreality and plastic haze of adolescence left me,
My darkest hours, my bleakest thoughts,
Before I realized it would come to an end.
And I realized, then and there,
This was the first day of the rest of my life.

I know in a list of millions of names,
Nothing separates me from him, or him, or him,
Or any other eccentric loner,
If I'm not careful.
Not that it guarantees death like it once did,
But he didn't expect
To waste away at the age of twenty-three.

An expansive, bleeding chunk of flesh, torn out,
A generational void that will never be filled,
Even when the next generations come and
Continue the legacy, continue fighting the fight...
You never imagine something you can't see
Would rip through your home
And leave your friends- and you- a statistic
For future generations to scan over.

There are a thousand eyes on me, voyeuristic,
Perverted, disgusted, watching every twitch of my pupils
And every bead of sweat on my forehead.
I know what they're thinking.

I'm intoxicated by this form,
Vessel for some sort of poison,
How hard can it be to be a man?
Though I'd rather be the rain,
Rolling down his form,
Hoping for his sweeping tides to lap at my skin,
Pull me in, drown me,
At the bottom of the sea, they won't be able to see us.