|
|||||||
|
|
SPECTRUM (12/05/2023) back I think I can make them too, I don't know where "away" is I'm sorry, but I don't understand you. I know how the words sound, I can read them well Though I can't find them on my own, Don't know how to tell you what I'm feeling, I'm just glad to be back at home. That feels awful and that feels worse, I can't tell you why, I just hate it I promise that I'm not trying to be difficult, Why do you want to debate it? What the hell are you people talking about? I can't follow a single thing you're saying. I don't know what it is I'm doing wrong, Do you mean that, or are you just playing? The number seven is blue because of its shape and sound, Though I couldn't tell you this problem's solution, Did you know dolphins aren't fish, sharks are, and they look similar After approximately 100 million years of convergent evolution? You look so strange behind smoked glass and funhouse mirrors, I keep trying to reach out and touch you, you're so alive yet so cold, You fit the frame so perfectly, so masterfully, but I don't understand Why your passions in life are always things you're sold. I find the interconnectedness of reality breathtaking yet exasperating, After twenty-something years of trying, I finally decided to withdraw, The world is good at making me feel incredibly embarrassed I am a being who casts a shadow under light, I don't know what it is you saw. There are times where I feel drunk, or intoxicated in some way, I can't seem to share my thoughts or feelings like a human being, You say what you don't mean, and I mean what I don't say, And I'm left wondering if this is the same reality we're seeing. Liquid glass, suffocation, mechanical movement, three comes before four, Block one, block two, block three, block four (click click click, tap tap tap) Shade one (red), shade two (orange-ish), shade three (orange), shade four (yellow-ish) Pace up, pace down, pace up, pace down, four is red, because three is yellow, red is four. (Do you understand? Numbers are colors because they are both spectrums.) How was your day? Did you see the news? I did, I certainly did, yeah, that was crazy, man, (One and four are red, three and five are yellow, but six is green, eight is purple and nine is indigo.) Do you want to hear my real opinions about it, or do you just want to know I'm listening? (Do I feel emotion? Of course I fucking feel emotion, when I'm in love I feel like my skin is boiling off.) Also, do you think you could lower your voice? Not too much, I hate the sound of whispering. I'm fascinated by colors and numbers and I don't know what they mean. I'm fascinated by opalescent lights and stars and I don't know what they mean. I mean, I do, I do, but I can't tell you, they're not words, they're feelings. Ice is lonely and beautiful, do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? I don't know what you mean, and I'll tell you what I mean And yes, by that, I'm saying that I don't understand what you meant by what you said, Not whatever it is you just decided I meant by that, I said what I said, I said what I said and meant it, what the hell is going on in your head? I wish you knew how difficult this was But to be completely honest, this is the perspective I hope you'll see, While I'm screaming into this receiver hoping you'll hear my words, I sometimes think you're the one who isn't making an effort to communicate with me. Red is the beginning of the spectrum, so one is red, and so is the letter A. Four is red too. (Click, click, click, pace up, pace down, pace up, pace down, can't look you in the eye right now, it hurts.) The letter B and two are both blue, because they're young and alive, (I cherish your company even though I need to be alone, I promise we'll talk soon.) C is a golden yellow, so are three and five, they are the warm midday sun. (Please don't message me before I've gone downstairs for the first time today, then we can talk.) Thylacinus cynocephalus went extinct in the mid 1930s- does that mean anything to you? One, four, A, two, B, three, five, C, six, D, E, seven, F, G, eight, H, nine, I, J, ten, K. Pace up, pace down, pace up, pace down, pace up, pace down. I don't say what I don't mean. No talking right now. Sorry. Blue, purple, violet, magenta, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, I feel so magenta, orange, yellow, black. Too much noise. I will tell you what I mean- I'm not a sexless savant, but it's difficult to speak, What I'm trying to say is that even in my own company, I feel like a freak.  |
||||||
